After Mum died
by thatobsessivefangirl
Summary: Clary's mum's died, she's going back to school as well. With Sebastian and Isabelle to help her through the last year of school, nothing could go wrong. Right? What happens if you add Jace to the equation. Clary ISN'T depressed. Rated T for swearing. Fluff Fluff Fluff
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guy! new fanfic. I put my heart and soul into this. (because music is my life, and reading of course) Read the bottom :)**

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First day of boarding school. Well not really. Let me rephrase that. First day of boarding school since mum died. I walk into school with my compulsory uniform, a navy blue blazer and skirt, white short-sleeved blouse and red tie, and my suitcase. You might think that our school actually cares about us but that's where you're wrong. I mean the teachers teach you, and the cafeteria feeds you and your dorms accommodate you, but there are no rules about parties or curfew or sleeping in other peoples' rooms.

"CLARYYYYYY" I hear a scream from down the hall

"IZZY?" I ask while screaming

We run towards each other and bear hug each other.

"Omg I've missed you soo much Jace was being such a dick" she complains

"Isn't he always a dick?" I ask innocently

"Oh haha" I hear an annoyingly familiar voice from behind me say

I swerve around and see Jace, my best friend's brother standing right there. I glare at him. You see Jace is one of those people who look stunning, then he ruins it by opening his mouth, well that's what I think. All the other girls swoon when he opens his mouth. They still haven't learnt that he'll use you for a night then just leave you there to pick up the pieces of your broken heart.

"Woah Clary, where did the glasses go?" I smirk

"Contacts"

Jace just stands there with his mouth open. I walk over to him lean in and

Slap him

"What the heck was that for?"

"Staring" I say simply

"Come on Clary let's go get your schedule and room key" Izzy butts in.

Izzy and I walk to reception and eventually find our rooms. Unlike last year we're not in the same room. Sad, I know

I walk to mine and Izzy walks to hers which is to doors down on the other side of the hallway. Close enough.

I open the door. And what do I see?

Jace sitting on the living room couch.

"Clary?"

I glare at him

"Oh no" he whispers "Are we- a-are we dorm buddies?"

I nod still glaring

He starts laughing hysterically

"Shut up" I hiss

And walk to the two other doors

"Which one's yours?" I ask calmly

He points to the left one. I open the right one.

We always get the first day of school off. To get settled and all.

I put my suitcase near my bed and decide to unpack after I've gone to the music room.

I walk out of my room and head for the front door.

"Where are you going" Jace asks

"Going to see my baby"

"You have a boyfriend?" he asks. Jace. Oh naïve Jace.

"No you idiot I was talking about violin."

And with that I walk out of the room towards the music room. I had left my violin and cello here over the summer holidays. The flight from school in Glasgow to my house in Bishopsgate in London was way too far for my instruments to travel. So I could only play my guitar when I was at home. I missed them so much.

I take out my violin. The only other violin in here was my best friend, Seb's.

"I missed you so much" I whisper as I took out my violin.

I start tuning her. And decide to start off with Vivaldi's concerto number 1 in A minor. I'm so concentrated with my playing that I didn't notice someone sneak in and open the other violin case.

Once I'm done I hear a familiar voice say

"How 'bout Bach's concerto for two violins next?"

"SEB!" I scream as I run into his open arms, careful not to bang our violins together.

He chuckles as I lay my head on his chest and strokes my hair with his free hand.

"Sorry about your mum" he whispers

"Yeah. Me too" I whisper back

"So that Bach concerto" he changes the topic

I smile and nod. We start playing. Soon the whole room is filled with a sweet conversation of our violins.

"Wanna go back to my room?" I ask while we put our violins back in our cases

"Sure" he rubs his thumb against my cheek, rubbing some rosin off of it.

We walk hand in hand back to my room, with our violins. Seb and I have always done this. People asked if we were going out, quite a lot, but I'd never think of Seb in that way, he's like my brother.

I open the door and see Jace reading on the couch. Geez doesn't he ever get off that couch?

"Hey Clary" he mutters single-mindedly not looking up from his book.

"Jace" Seb says politely

"Sebastard" he glares at Seb

"Don't call him that" I say willing myself to be calm.

"Okay then. Hey Shitbastian" Jace smirks

I groan and drag Seb into my room.

"Wow you should really unpack" Seb gestures to the empty room.

"Help me?" I plead

"Aww who could say no to that face" he coos

"No one" I smile wickedly

…

After 2 hours of unpacking, my paintings of Bach, Vivaldi, Dvorak and Chopin sit on one side of the room and my bookshelf filled with books sits on the other. My green duvet is on top of my bed, which is neatly made.

I smile at Seb and walk out of my room into the living room, where Jace just walked in.

"Shitbastian"

"Jace" That what I love about Seb he's so polite no matter how shitty someone else is being.

I glare at Jace and walk Seb out. I hug him tightly

"Dinner? Later?" He asks, with his chin resting on my head

"Sure. Izzy's coming too" I say. Seb gulps

Izzy and Seb like each other. Everyone knows, except for them. Time for me to have a little fun.

I smile and walk back into my room.

"Do you have to be friends with such a jerk?" I swear I'm going to kill him one day

"Do you have to be such a dick?" I retort. He looks a little hurt but I couldn't care less at the moment. I walk back into my room and take _to kill a mockingbird _off my bookshelf and start reading.

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**Hope you guys like it. i'm taking a tiny break from Finding his killer to make the last couple chapters perfect. review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey there thanks for the reviews. Hope you're liking it so far... i don't really know what to say. Enjoy?**

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_"__CLARY" I hear my dad scream _

_"__Yea?"_

_He looks so tired. I walk up to him and put a hand on his back_

_"__You look so much like your mother." He slaps me "WHY'D YOU HAVE TO DIE" he screams _

_My eyes widen in fear. He pushes me to the ground and kicks me. Over and over again. _

_Then I start screaming. _

_…_

"CLARY! CLARY WAKE UP IT'S JUST A DREAM. IT'S JUST A DREAM" I hear Jace scream

My breathing is fast and shallow. As I open my eyes I see Jace standing over my bed, his hands on my shoulders. His tawny eyes search mine. I wrap my arms around him and bury my head into his chest. Did I mention he didn't have a shirt on? Goddammit Jace why do you have to be so perfect?

Wait. What?

Who said that?

Jace tenses when arms around him at first but then replies by enveloping me in his arms.

"Shh it's okay" he coos as sobs rack my body. He pulls away enough to look down at me "Wanna talk about it?" he asks sincerely. I shake my head. "How about we get you a glass of water?" he asks cocking his head to the side.

"Okay" I croak

We walk to our kitchen and I sit down on the island as Jace gets me some water.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asks handing me my water

"Yea. What time is it?" I ask changing the subject. He looks at the clock.

"1"

"I should probably get some sleep" I mutter hopping off the island

"Yea I'll see you in the morning"

I close my door and flop onto my bed.

Wow

Since when is Jace so nice?

I decide to dismiss the thought and try get some sleep.

Try being the keyword. I end up lying there staring at the ceiling for 2 hours.

Finally I decide to play my violin.

Summer from the four seasons is what I decide on. I play it over and over again. Then remember Jace. Oh geez I hope I didn't wake him up.

I look at the clock and its 6 o'clock. I can't say I'm surprised. Once I was playing a duet with Seb, and I didn't realise when he stopped playing because he messed it up. I think it's safe to say I get pretty lost in my music.

I walk out of my room in my uniform and see Jace in the kitchen drinking coffee in his uniform.

"Morning" he smiles lightly "Loved the first 2 movements from summer you played"

"Hope I didn't wake you up" I walk over to the cupboard to try find some tea bags

"There's no tea just coffee and I couldn't sleep anyways" he flashes a brilliant smile

"Well then I'm gonna head off to Seb's. He better make me some tea or there will be trouble" Jace chuckles at the second bit

"See ya" he screams as I close the door

Maybe Jace isn't so bad after all

I walk down the hall to Seb's room. I start knocking. When no one answers I bang the door a couple times and scream

"Listen here shit stain open the door and make me some tea or I'll tell Izzy about your little crush."

I hear a door open then footsteps then the front door opens and I see a very grumpy Sebastian standing there

"Shh not so loud you dickhead" he say sleepily pulling me into his dorm

"Make me some tea will you?" I demand

"Yes your highness" He mutters

About 5 minutes later Seb's back with tea. I gulp it down in 2 minutes

"Seb let's go"

"I'm coming, I'm coming" he says angrily

"Woah what crawled up your ass and died today?"

"Shut it" he mumbles as we walk out the door

"Well I need to go to my locker first"

"I'll come with you"

"To see Isabelle?" I ask innocently

"One of these days I'm going to murder you Clary"

We reach my locker and I take my schedule out.

"What do you have?" Seb asks while taking my schedule out of my hand. "Damn we've only got chemistry and biology together.

"Don't forget lunch"

"Everyone has lunch together dumbass" he retorts jokingly

"Well I'm gonna go to English and sit right next to Isabelle and tell her everything" I smirk

"Don't you dare" he narrows his eyes at me

I close my locker. And walk off smiling.

"I'm going to kill you!" I hear Seb screaming

"Geez what happened to him?" I hear someone ask

I look to my right and see Jace walking beside me. My grin grows even more.

"Oh nothing"

"I totally believe you" he states sarcastically

I snort

"Well I've got English lit first so I gotta go"

"Are you going to be okay?" he asks

"Jace it was just one dream" I say not exactly believing the lie myself

"Okay" he hesitates. I can tell he doesn't believe me "I'll see you later"

"Bye" I walk into English and Izzy waves at me and gestures to the empty seat next to her

Life is good.

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**There will be a load of clace next 't worry haha. REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY! and update faster occasionally idk. MAKE ME HAPPY!**


	3. Chapter 3

**HEY GUYS! I love your reviews! i really wanted to post this today cos, um yea? Hope you like it**

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So its 7th period (last period) and I've got music! Finally. I don't think I could've just hummed Dvorak for the rest of the day.

So far I've had English and IT with Izzy, biology and chemistry with Seb and Jace, and physics and PE with Jace.

So now I'm heading to the music room.

I walk inside and there's no one there. I love it when I'm early.

That when I hear it. A piano. Beethoven's moonlight sonata. The melody fills the enormous room. I walk over to the piano and I see

Jace?

Huh?

The melody stops

"Um sorry I was just messing around" he starts to get up

"Jace th-that was beautiful" I smile

"You play" he gestures to the piano

I laugh

"You over-estimate my talent"

"Wait you can't play?" he scrunches his eyebrows in the most adorable way

Wait. Adorable?

"I should teach you" Jace smirks

"Yeah, not unless you want really nasty sounds coming from the piano"

"You can't be that bad" he says

I snort

"Okay class find a seat" Mr Garroway's voice booms

I walk over to one in the middle and Jace sits next to me. He smiles and I smile back

…

_"__CLARYYYY WHERE ARE YOUHONEY?"_

_I'm hid under my bed, trying to quieten my harsh panting _

_"__Clary dear?" My father's voice asks again _

_I can see his feet only his feet. He walks around the bed. To the bathroom. He looks inside, then closes the door. _

_Next he looks in the closet. _

_I don't know what came over me but I decided to make a run for it. _

_"__CLARY COME BACK HERE NOW" I don't listen _

_I run down the stairs into _

_A dead end._

_The kitchen _

_"__I've got you now" his manic voice whispers _

_He punches me. Hard. In the stomach and I'm on the ground gasping for oxygen. He kicks me and keeps kicking over and over again until everything goes black._

_…_

I wake up panting covered in sweat and tears. Before I know it I'm knocking on Jace's door.

"Clary?" he calls through the door

"Yea" I croak

"It's not locked come in" he sounds sleepy

I open the door. Once Jace sees my state he scoots to one side of the bed

"Come on. I won't bite" he whispers

I lie down next to him and he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me closer.

I bury my head into his chest

"What happened?"

It takes me a couple seconds to answer

"3 years ago my dad got a restraining order from my mum and me, for abuse. One night he found us and just hit my mum over and over again. Because he broke the restraining order he went to prison."

"And he's in your dreams now?" Jace asks

I nod.

"What will happen once school finishes? Where will you go?"

"Foster home I guess"

"Oh" Jace's voice is soft, almost hurt. "So you're not going to university?"

"Julliard isn't happening" I laugh humourlessly

We lie there forever and I can't help but notice how well we fit together. Like puzzle pieces.

"Jace?"

"Yea" He whispers into my hair while rubbing circles on my back

"What happened to the Jace from last year?"

He pulls away slightly

"What do you mean?"

"The manwhore" I whisper

"Is that what you really think of me?" He sounds wounded

"No" I whisper

"I've changed Clary, I know I can't use girls like that. I-"

"Shh" I say as I snuggle back into his chest. I can almost feel his smile

"Goodnight Clary" he murmurs

"Night" I say before drifting off into a peaceful sleep

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**Review and you get a virtual hug? i don't know. Just review that what i'm trying to say. Yeah that.**


	4. Chapter 4

**HEY GUYS! Hope you guys like it. This was really hard to write, the word love isn't in my vocabulary so i had to be open to it. ugh.**

**ooh and would you guys believe me if i told you i was 12? So mature aye (I still think boys have cooties though)**

**hope y'all like it**

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Holy fucking shit.

Jace.

Jace's Bed.

GET OUT CLARY! GET OUT!

I tip toe out of the room trying not to make a sound, which isn't that hard because of my size.

I walk out the door carefully and close the door as gently as I can.

I walk into my room and get changed into my uniform as quick as I can. I walk out of my room with my bag. Should I leave a note?

No

I just need to get out of here.

Music room?

For once no

I think I should go to Isabelle

I run over to her dorm, which is dangerously close, and knock

"Coming!" I hear a cheery voice scream from the other side the door

The door opens

"Oh hi Clary" she articulates

"We need to talk"

"How 'bout after school cos I've only got an hour to get ready" She says turning away

"This can't wait Izzy" I say frantically

"Oh I'm sure it can"

"IZ, I SLEPT WITH YOUR BROTHER" I scream.

Her eyes widen in shock and pulls me into her dorm.

"Come on"

We walk into her room quietly trying not to wake up Maia, Izzy's roommate.

"Now I need details" she says once we're in her room

I flop onto her bed

"What details"

"What was it like?"

"Comfy" I smile at the memory of being curled up in Jace's arms

"Wait. What kinda of sleep are you talking about?" I look at her and my cheeks burn

"Sleeping in the most innocent way possible!" I scream

"Oh. Um"

"Yea um" I roll my eyes

"Wait a minute that means you were cuddling"

Once again my cheeks burn and I have to look away

"OMG THAT'S SO CUTE!" she screams

"Izzy, no. Don't you dare start shipping us" but she seems to ignore my comment

"CLACE CLACE CLACE" she chants, jumping around the room, before she stops obviously remembering something

"Um I kissed Seb yesterday"

"Huh?" I say

"We kissed"

"I would ask for details but it might scar me for life. So you guys a couple?"

"Yea" she says smiling

"Oh wow" I smile excited for both of them "Damn I have to go get my books from my locker"

"Oh I'll see you in English then" Izzy walks me out of her room

I head over to my locker. I start taking my books out and see someone's arms snake around my waist

I tense up then I realise it's Seb

"Hey" he says sleepily

"Hey" I say smiling

"So you heard about Izzy?"

"Yup"

When he says nothing I ask

"Who initiated it?"

"Me"

"Good on you" Seb is becoming a man. *wipes tear* they grow up so fast

"You've got to go to class missy"

"You do to mister"

"No I don't I have a free"

I glare at him

"I've got English"

"I know you've got English" I roll my eyes

"Well I gotta go" he kisses my forehead and I close my locker.

Once Seb unwraps his arms from me I see Jace glaring at him.

_Bye_ mouth at Seb and walk off to English.

I sit down next to Izzy and zone out for the rest of the lesson

My mind snaps back to reality when the teacher voice booms

"Class is over. No homework"

Shit physics with Jace.

I say bye to Izzy and make my way to physics.

I walk in and keep my head down. Jace sits a seat away from me. Every couple minutes he looks my way. I can feel him staring but I urge myself to look forward.

Once class is over I run out of the classroom with Jace screaming my name. Eventually he catches up to me grabs my arm

"Clary talk to me" He pleads

"Let go" I say staring at the ground

"Clary I don't know how to say this" he starts

"Say what? That your just effing with me? That you don't care?" I scream at him

He looks hurt but then swiftly wraps his arms around me pulling me closer to him

"Clary" he whispers "I love you"

I pull away jerkily

"You- you can't say that" I stutter

"It's true Clary" he whispers staring at the ground

He looks up his eyes are glassy

"You know what, this was hopeless" He murmurs

"So you don't love me?" I ask, confused

"Of course I do" his voice cracks "I've loved you since the day I met you. But I can see this isn't going to work" He turns away and heads to the cafeteria

_Jace!_ I try to scream but nothing comes out of my mouth. I watch him as he walks off  
I know I shouldn't feel like he just ripped my heart out my I do. In a daze I walk to the music room

I take a guitar off one of the stands and sit down pondering about what to play

Don't get me wrong I love classical music, it soothes my mind. But sometimes when I just need to get my emotions out of me rock is the way to do it.

I start to play James dean & Audrey Hepburn (great song!)

"Clary?" I hear Izzy's voice ask when I put my guitar down "You okay? I heard about Jace"

I nod.

"How many periods have I missed?" I ask gently

She smiles "5. Knowing you, you were probably staring at the wall humming so random melody for the last 3 hours"

When I say nothing she says "Come on let's get you to your dorm"

We walk in silence to my room Izzy opens the door and I think Jace is in his room. I walk straight into my room and take my violin out.

_Greensleeves _the voice at the back of my mind whispers. I start playing and Izzy leaves me alone sensing I just need some space.

I play and I keep playing different songs. Until 9 o'clock. I think I might need to stop.

I get changed out of my uniform and try to go to sleep. Thank god we don't have school tomorrow. I really don't want to leave my room, to see anyone.

Eventually my mind drifts off and I'm humming Dead Walker Texas Ranger by Sleeping with sirens to myself. My sleep filled eyes feel heavy and snap shut. Soon enough I'm in a dreamless slumber.

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REVIEW! PLEASE! to the guest called chatterbox here's your virtual hug :) you guys make me smile :)


	5. Chapter 5

**I'M SOO SORRY. i don't have an excuse either. Anyways hope you like the chapter read the bottom. And yea... **

**Enjoy!**

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My eyes flutter open. I smile looking around the room. Then it all comes back to me.

Jace.

I want to see him again. I want to feel the sparks of electricity I'm sure we both feel when we touch. I just want Jace but, I can't have him. Suddenly I'm glad it's a Saturday I get up agonisingly slowly, and get changed into leggings and a loose knit sweater. I walk out to the kitchen. I frown looking around, Jace isn't here. I try to find something to eat. After a while I settle for an apple and cereal. No tea. Depressing. I know.

I hear a door open from behind me. I turn towards the sound and see a shirtless Jace standing there.

Um… uh

"Hey" he mutters not looking me

I feel a pang of disappointment in my stomach

"Hey" I whisper trying to hide my distress, but failing miserably

"You okay?" no you're too far away.

"Am I now?" Jace asks interrupting my thoughts

Shit I said that aloud didn't I?

Jace walks towards me. He's dangerously close right now. He leans forward

"Close enough?"

I gulp. He smells like… sunshine?

Jace cups my face and starts peppering light kisses on my jaw and down my neck.

It feels so good but I know it's wrong. A small groan escapes my lips. I can feel Jace smirk against my neck.

Then it hits me. He probably does this with all the girls.

"Jace" I whisper

"Mm?" He hums against my neck

"Jace stop" I whisper feebly

"Make me, beautiful" He challenges. This is all just a game to him isn't it? Sick bastard.

"Jace stop" I push him away which makes him stumble.

"Clary I-" he starts

"Go away" I interject

"Clary I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"

"Oh so you _fell _over and just started kissing me and decided not to stop?" I ask aggravated

"NO! It wasn't like that" he says taking a step towards me.

I let out a breath and take a step back

"I need to leave"

I leave right then and don't look back. But I do hear Jace let out an aggravated scream when I close the door.

I run over to Izzy's dorm, open the door and run into Izzy's room, passing a very confused Maia

I flop onto Izzy's bed barely noticing Seb in the room as well

"Clary are you okay?" I hear Izzy's caring voice ask

"Jace" I mumble into her pillows

"What the fuck did the jerk do now" Seb's voice growls

I sit up turning around to stare at Seb

"What. Did. He. Do?" Seb asks, annunciating each word

"Nothing" I mumble staring at my hands

"He loves her" Izzy explains

"I knew it!" Seb says without missing a beat

Izzy snorts

"Sure you did" she says, sarcasm valid in her voice

He gives her a playful glare then walks up to me

"Clary what's the matter?" he asks delicately

I don't say anything and keep staring at my hands

"Clary?" Seb asks gently

"I can't I just can't" my voice barely above a whisper

"Can't what Clary?" Seb asks

"Love him" I say barely above a whisper

"But you like him?" Seb suggests

I nod

"CLACEEEE" Izzy screams from the corner of the room

I chuckle humourlessly and Seb just stares at us

"Clace?" Seb asks obviously confused

"It's their ship name"

"Right" Seb says "Look at me Clary"

I don't look up

"Clary you have to tell him" Izzy says

"Why" I ask

"Because I know my brother and it's killing him, you're the one girl he really wants and he keeps messing it up."

"Serves the manwhore right" I mutter bitterly

"Clary" Seb starts "He isn't a manwhore"

"The only reason he put on that act on was to make you jealous" Izzy finishes for him

"I need to go" I murmur and walk out of Izzy's dorm

I know I'm being a bitch. But it's too much. Jace. Jace and Jace. Jace is the only thing running through my mind these days. I like seeing him happy and I can't make him happy. Just look at him he's miserable. Why? Because of me. I think I might need to talk to him.

Before I know it I've found my way back to our dorm.

I open the door and my eyes widen in disbelief

Jace and Kaelie are… kissing

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** .Review. i won't take that long to update because we just started our 2 week holidays rah rah rah. **

**So yeah hope you guys liked it again i'm extremely sorry. :) see ya next time. Don't forget to review...**


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, get this. Some sururbs are having a power cut in my city and of course my suburb has the most problems and since everyone's got the fibre wifi stuff we have no internet. So right now i'm at the university (no i don't go to university i'm 12 -.- my mum works here so i came for the free internet and heaters.)and my dad made us swap beds cos he's got the most suffocating blankets which keep me warm cos i've got really bad circulation (which i believe makes me a very good violinist did you get the if i stay reference no? i'll just stop making jokes...) well i hope you liked my rant now read :) love y'all**

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_Previously on after mum died: _

_I open the door and my eyes widen in disbelief_

_Jace and Kaelie are… kissing_

**Chapter 6**

"Whoops… Um I'll leave you to it" I keep the door open and walk back out. I can't say I'm surprised. I mean he had to move on someday didn't he. I swiftly make my way down to the music room and search for my cello. Found it!

I never got the people at this school. They never appreciate music. Sure some of the teachers are pricks but don't take it out on the music. I tighten my bow, and start playing the swan by Saint-Saëns. It's a beautiful piece made for the cello and harp, but the harp can be substituted for a piano. I start getting in my special little zone when I hear the piano part being played, I turn my head around but keep playing. I see Jace smile softly back at me, being polite I smile as well. I have no right to be angry and I'm not. We finish the piece. Being stuck in my zone I start another piece totally forgetting about Jace. I play Cello Concerto in A Minor, Op. 33 while Jace stands there gawking at me but I take no notice. Once I finish I look up and Jace says

"You're not even mad"

"Why should I be? I'm not your girlfriend"

**JACE POV**

Ouch. I have to stop myself from saying 'I'd like you to be my girlfriend'

"Well I should get going, we've got school tomorrow" She smiles curtly as I make my way out the door.

I can't believe how well she plays her cello. I have to ask her who her teacher is…

"Jace!" I hear someone scream

"Yeah?" I say turning around

"Omg I'm so sorry I didn't mean to break you and your girlfriend up" Kaelie mumbles in shame

"Don't worry. She's not my girlfriend anyway" I say with a soft smile

"Well you've got some work to do mister."

"Huh?" I mutter dumfounded

"I've seen the way you look at her. It's not like one of your flings"

"Yeah, but now I've messed it up" I murmur looking at my feet while screaming to myself IDIOT! YOU'RE SUCH A FREAKING IDIOT

"No you haven't" Kaelie says "You can fix this. Just be extra nice. Treat her like she deserves to be treated" She smiles

"Thanks Kaelie I might be able fix this shit up" She laughs softly

"Oh, Kaelie" I say before opening the door to my dorm. "Sorry about last summer" I say apologetically

She nods and smiles while I walk into my room

Jace you've really fucked up this time

**CLARY** **POV**

I'm not mad. Apparently the news got around and everyone keeps asking me if I'm alright.

I wanted to scream, 'I'M NOTHING TO HIM WHY SHOULD IT MATTER?!' into everyone's face.

Seb knew better. We just sat in his dorm in comfortable silence until he brought up Valentine's Day.

"What should I do for Iz on Valentine's day?" He asked me

Give her chocolates. Was my minds answer but she deserves much more than that

"Fancy dinner?" I look at him "Iz loves that sort of stuff"

"Wait so does that mean I have to dress up?" He looks absolutely mortified

"Yes idiot" I say laughing

"Dammit" he mutters "Do I have to wear I tie?" He whines

"Yes" I whine back

He glares and I glare back

"Want me to walk you back to your dorm?"

I nod

"You okay?" Seb whispers while we walk to my dorm. I look up at him sceptically. Was he really asking me that? Like everybody else?

"I mean you're really quiet today" Oh

"Yeah just a bit tired" Seb smiles

"Well here we are" Seb gestures to my dorm. "Tomorrow" he prompts "I don't want to see you tired okay? Go get some sleep. Apparently stress is really unhealthy" I smile softly. Sebastian's like the brother I never had, I really appreciate it.

"Bye" I whisper

"Bye" he murmurs

I walk into my dorm and see Jace studying?

"Jace?" He looks up sharply

"So some idiot got our timetables mixed up and it turns out we don't have physics until next term."

"And?" I prompt

"We have Spanish instead. Also did I mention we have a test?"

"Shit" I mutter running over to the table

"Test me" He screams

"Okay um_. Hola me llamo Clary. ¿Qué tal?_" I say fumbling over my words

"Uh. _Me llamo Jace. Soy Mal. ¿Y tú?_" Jace responds much more fluently

" _Soy_ _regular. ¿Cuándo es tu cumpleaños_?" I question

" _M__i cumpleaños es el dos de enero ¿y tú?"_ He asks frantically

We go on like this for 2 hours and immigrate to the couch because the kitchen table has become a mess with piles of papers.

"Er – um – uh" I fumble trying to make a sentence

"Come on Clary" Jace encourages me

I give up and flop on to the couch. Incidentally my head lands in Jace's lap.

I don't move. I don't want to move. Before he says anything I mutter

"God, this test going to fuck me up"

"Let's hope it's a virgin" I chuckle

"Jace?"

"Yeah?" I notice he's softly playing with my hair

"You don't have to answer this but, um how many girls have you slept with?"

He stiffens and then a shy smile is place on his lips

"Zero" he whispers

"Huh?" I whisper back

"I haven't slept with anyone"

Once again I repeat, "Huh?" stupidly.

"Clary, we were, what? 12 when we met. I've never slept with anyone before or after that. No scratch that I've never _wanted_ to sleep with anyone after I met you. Anyways I'm waiting until I get married"

I think I'm about as red as my hair right now. I find myself leaning towards Jace,my eyes flutter shut, waiting until our lips touch. I think I feel his lips ghost over mine but it's too late to determine because we're jumping apart due to the door getting pounded on. We stare at each other

"I'll get it" I mutter

I open the door to see a very scared Isabelle standing there

"Um…" I stand there like an idiot

"Haven't you realised?"

"Um…"

"There's been a power cut"

"Um…"

"Can I stay here? Maia's at Jordan's, There's no internet and Seb's probably going to come here"

"Uh… sure" I finally found out how to speak

"Thanks" she mutters and walks in

"Um Iz? A word?" Jace asks from behind me

"Sure" she says cheerfully

They walk off into Jace's room while I walk into mine and reflect on what just happened

I flop onto my bed. I was about to kiss him. I really want to kiss him now. Dammit Clary.

At least Seb's gonna come over.

Then as if on cue someone knocks on the door. No doubt that it's Seb.

I open the door

"Hey Clare" He's all geared up. In his pyjamas with a pillow, blanket, ice cream and loads more food.

"Hey Sebby" I reply

"Sebby? Really? You couldn't do any better?"

"You remind me of a child and that's what I called you. Remember?"

He chuckles.

"I invited some people"

"Seb" I say warningly

"Only 5 people" ONLY?

"Who?" I sigh

"Jon, Aline, Meliorn, Magnus and Alec"

"Eh they aren't so bad"

By the time Seb gets set up on our carpeted floor Jace and Izzy are joining us as well.

Seb explains to everyone that he invited some people, once they turn up Magnus comes up with a great idea

"How bout we order some pizza and while we wait we'll play truth or dare. If you don't do the dare or answer a truth then a piece of clothing has to come off" We all agree

It already dark so we can't see each other. And it's really freaking cold I mean thanks school just let us get hypothermia then.

"Okay Clary" Magnus starts "Truth or dare?"

"Truth" I really didn't want to get up right now.

"What were you doing before any of us got here?" I stiffen Magnus is a little piece of shit

"Studying" I reply slyly

"Yeah right"

"Seb?" I say

"Dare"

"Give me your ice cream"

"But –" He starts

"Give it" I growl

Reluctantly Seb pushes the ice cream container into the middle of the circle. I grab it and laugh maliciously.

"Jon"

"Dare" Jon replies

"Kiss Clary" I glare at where I think Seb's head is.

"Do you want me to?" Jon asks softly

"No" I whisper

He takes what i think is his shirt off

"CLONATHAN!" Aline screams

We keep playing until Meliorn has to leave.

Then we hear a knock on the door which ceases our laughter.

"Jace?" I whisper so quietly that no one can hear "Who's that?"

"I don't know" He replies.

"I'M NOT GETTING IT!" all of us scream

"I'll get it" Jon gives in

I'm waiting with apprehension for Jon to open the door.

It's the pizza boy.

"That'll be £40."

Jon gives him the money and takes the pizza out of his hands

"Wait how did you get in?" But he's gone. The pizza boy is gone?

Jon closes the door and locks it

"Umm" he puts the pizza in the middle of our circle and takes his place

"Dude what if the pizza's been poisoned?" Jace questions from beside me

"Who cares it's still pizza." Seb screams.

* * *

**Naww isn't Jace such a softie. Seb being a child :) haha Well you know the routine. well i hope you do by now. Favourite. Hope you liked it read the top ^^^^^ Just cos, my song of the chapter(?) is Comanche by In This Moment. It doesn't have anything to do with the chapter i just wanted you guys to listen to it cos it's an awesome song. :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi there! I've been gone for a while haven't I? Well i have exams next week so i won't be updating this week or the next but i will try my best to update as soon as possible after that. :)**

**I saw a really hot guy working at paperplus on saturday. Even recommended an Agatha Christie book to me. Guess who's going to paperplus every saturday...**

**Anywayy**

**Soo much fluff!**

**Enjoy my lovelies**

* * *

I wake up at who knows what time to get water.

I walk over to the kitchen and get my glass. I'm just about to leave but I see Jace shivering on the couch. He gave Isabelle his room so Sebastian, Jonathan and Aline are on our other couches.

"Jace" I nudge him "Jace" I nudge him a bit harder.

"Don't let the duck get me Clary. Please don't let him get me" He mumbles. He's dreaming about ducks, that's adorable.

Wait

What?

"Jace" I nudge him once again

"What" his eyes snap open and look at me.

"You're freezing" I say concerned

"I'm fine" He says

"God you're such a boy" I moan

"I like to think of myself as a man" I roll my eyes

"Go sleep in my bed"

"Where will you sleep?" He asks

"I don't know. On the floor?"

Jace looks like he's thinking. Then he stands up grabs my hand and walks to my bedroom.

"Jace?" I ask hesitantly

"I'm not going to try anything just I don't want you to get cold either."

I nod not trusting my voice.

We lie in bed. We aren't touching at all.

I start to dose of but right before I do I whisper

"Did the ducks get you Jace?"

The last thing I see are his eyes widening in shock.

…

I wake up very warm.

Too warm.

I turn on my side and see Jace.

I remember the last time this happened. I was so freaked out.

"Jace" I mumble.

"Mm?" He murmurs before falling into a coughing fit

"You okay?" I ask concerned

"Yea we've got school. You should start getting ready"

"Hang on I'll get the thermometer"

Jace says nothing because he's coughing again.

I walk out of my room.

I realise everyone's gone. Huh…

I dig up a thermometer from one of the cupboards.

"Jace"

He's still coughing.

I stick the thermometer in his mouth

"38.5 degrees Celsius"

"I'm still going to school" he demands

"No you're not"

"Why" He coughs "Not?"

I shake my head amused

"You're going to stay here while I go to school" I begin "And I'm going to come back at lunch to check on you. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to get ready"

"But-"

"No Jace"

His shoulders slump in defeat.

"Fine" he grumbles.

…

"Sooo" Izzy starts

"What is it Iz?" I ask suspicious

"I saw you and Jace spooning last night"

I bite my lip to stop myself from smiling.

"Don't tell me you haven't told him you like him"

"Um" I try to delay my answer

"Goddammit Clary. You can't keep messing with him like this"

"I know" I whisper

"Tell him then"

"It isn't that easy Iz. You know it isn't"

"Just tell him soon okay?" she sighs

"I will" I assure her

We walk into English and take our assigned seats.

…

As I walk back to my dorm there are four words running through my mind

_I will tell him_

_I will tell him _

_I will tell him _

I pause as I open my door.

"Jace?" I call out

"I'm in your room"

I walk into my room

"You look better" I observe

"Of course I do" He smirks and I roll my eyes

I get the thermometer

"37 degrees"

"I'm fine!"

I chuckle

"You sound like a 6 year old"

He gives me a childish grin. I chuckle again

I sit on my bed next to him.

"I don't want to go back to school"

He chuckles

"You could always say that I passed on my deadly contagious disease to you"

I pretend to think about it.

"Sounds good to me"

He smiles.

I put my head on his shoulder. It feels…natural.

"You know I haven't been fair to you" I start

"Huh?" he asks obviously confused.

I look at him and smile before I kiss him on the cheek.

"I like you Jace"

He looks at me extremely surprised

"Wow" he breathes

He starts leaning in slowly his tawny eyes locked with mine. Slowly, slowly as if not to scare me away. But just before his lips brush over mine I turn my face away so he lips hit my cheek.

"Wouldn't want you catching that deadly-contagious disease, would we?"

"You're such a tease Clary" He laughs

"I want to do things right Jace" I start to explain

"Then I shall grace you with my presence at 6 o'clock tomorrow since it's valentine's day and all." Jace climbs off my bed and walks out the door

"Wait. Jace did you just ask me out?" I scream

…

It's 5 o'clock. Valentine's Day. I'm on my way to tell Izzy. She's going to be ecstatic.

I knock and wait.

"Hey babe. What are you doing?" She gestures for me to come in.

"I told Jace." I say once we're in her room.

Her eyes widen.

"Oh my god. YES! IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING."

I laugh.

"Are you going out tonight?" she questions.

"Yea about that. I have no idea what to wear."

"Is Clary actually asking me for fashion advice? Fashion advice?! My wittle Clary is gwoing up" I shake my head and whisper

"This was hopeless"

She rummages through her closet.

"This might fit you"

She hands me a long black skirt and a deep red knitted sweater.

"Please tell me I don't have to wear heels" I mutter

"You can wear flats. Black ones." She says answering my prayers.

"Hallelujah" I scream

Izzy gives me a weird look.

"So what are you and Seb doing?" I say trying to cover up my previous outburst

"I'm not sure. He said it was a surprise."

I smile.

"You guys are cute"

"Thanks" she blushes

"Well I should get going"

"Good luck babe. Don't wear any makeup and braid your hair over your shoulder"

"Thanks" I hug her and make my way to my dorm.

I get ready, following all of Izzy's instructions.

_Knock knock knock_

I open the door to a topless and panicked Sebastian.

I usher him inside

"You do realise you just ran down a corridor full of horny teenage girls topless"

He ignores my comment

"Which one?" He asks frantically, gesturing to two shirt. A black one and a white one.

"The black one" I say after some serious thinking.

He buttons his shirt up

"You look pretty" He says

"Why thank you. You don't look that bad."

"Wait where are you going?" Shit I didn't tell him.

"Jace asked me out" I say. I feel like jumping up and down like the hormonal teenager I am.

"Oh my god. Clace is happening" He squeals, like a 14 year old on Tumblr

"I heard my name" Jace says walking out of his room

"Seb here was just telling me how much he loved your room?"

"Yea. You should teach me how to make my room like yours"

Jace just looks amused.

"Well Seb you should get going."

"But-" he starts

"I'm kicking you out Seb" I hiss

…

Jace takes me to Taki's. We eat while asking each other questions

"Favourite band?" Jace asks

"Um. Korn. Jet. Blink-182."

Jace fake gasps.

"Breaking news classical musician loves rock music?"

I laugh.

Jace smiles softly.

"Come on I need to show you something."

Jace pays the bill and we walk out.

"Where are we going?" I ask curiously.

"It's a surprise" he say snaking his arm around my waist.

Walk for a while before stopping in front of a lake.

"How the hell did you find this?" I ask in awe.

The moonlight reflects of the lake make the water sparkling. The river has the odd bolder sitting on the river bank.

I look at Jace and smile.

"Thank you, for showing me this"

Jace turns towards me. His golden eyes search mine, he leans closer and closer until

"I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to kiss you after we get back to school."

I roll my eyes. Tease.

…

**Sebastian Pov**

I knock on her door.

"Hey"

"Hey" I breathe.

She giggles.

"So what are we doing?" she asks.

"I just wanted to stay in and watch horror movies. But if you wanna go out that's fine" I say nervously.

She pulls me inside and whispers

"That's perfect" With that she kisses me

…

**Clary Pov **

"Clary" Jace breathes.

We're right in front of the boarding house.

"Yea?"

He cups my face.

"You have no idea how long I've waited for this."

I smile softly and lean into his hand.

"Can I kiss you now?"

"Yes" I whisper.

He bends his head as I tilt mine up, his eyes flicker down to my lips, my eyes flutter shut just before his lips brush against mine. He tastes like something distinctly Jace, he smells like soap and sunshine, everything is silent as his lips move against mine. I'm on my tip toes, one hand on his shoulder and one behind his neck, his hand are wrapped around my waist pulling me closer to him. Our noses bump each other's making me smile against his lips. I'm just about to pull away when I hear a two very familiar voices shout

"CLACE CLACE CLACE!"

I groan embarrassed.

"This cannot be happening" I mutter while I bury my face into Jace's chest.

He chuckles.

"I swear they're more embarrassing than my parents would be"

I can feel him smile into my hair.

"We should probably get back inside." Jace whispers into my hair.

"Yeah we should" I turn around and see Izzy and Seb with their heads stuck out the window. I flip them off while Jace laughs hysterically.

"You really are something Clary." He murmurs while kissing my temple.

* * *

**Nawwww. I was wondering if you wanted me to do an outtake of Seb and Izzy's date? review and let me know! You know the drill. .Review **

**Ps. You reviews make me soo happy and i haven't been very happy in the past few weeks, I just love you guys so much. *wipes tear***


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi there! Exams finished yesterday. I can do whatever the fuck i want now. This is pretty much just fluff. :)**

**It's is currently 5.42am i started this at 1isham. i guess you could say commitment is my middle name.**

* * *

"Morning" Jace says behind me while I stand at my locker.

"Morning" I smile

"How are you?" he asks wrapping his arms around me, pulling my back into his chest.

"Tired"

"Oh I thought you'd say something like 'Oh I'm ecstatic to be the wonderful Jace's girlfriend'"

Girlfriend. I like that.

"Well, I have soccer try outs this afternoon and then we have a game on Friday"

I twist around in his grip and place my hands on his shoulders so we're face to face.

"Why are you so sure you're going to be picked?"

"Have you seen me play?"

I narrow my eyes playfully.

"No"

"Well I'm amazingly awesome"

I scoff.

"You were saying something about a game?" I prompt.

"Oh. You know the old school tradition right?"

"With the t-shirts?" He nods. "That's not old…"

"It makes it sound better Clary."

I roll my eyes

"And?"

"Well will you?"

"Will I what?"

"Will you wear my t-shirt?"

I pretend to think about it.

"Only if it doesn't smell like sweat. Deal?" I say sticking my hand up to shake.

"Deal." He shakes my hand

"Now we have to get to Spanish."

"Ugh. Wanna ditch?"

"Jace we can't ditch we have a test"

"Fuck" he mumbles.

I giggle and peck him on the cheek.

"You're sitting next to me. So I can copy your answers"

"And what's makes you think I'll let you copy off of me?"

"Well…" he thinks about it. "I'm me"

…

"How was the test?" Jace asks

I scrunch my nose up. "Eh" Jace chuckles

We start walking to the cafeteria

"So the music competition's coming up." Jace starts

"No. There's no way I'll compete in that."

"Come on Clare please?" I look at him. God I wish I didn't. His lips are pouted, chin tilted down, eyes looking down. The irresistible Jace puppy dog face.

"Ugh. I'll think about it"

"That's great we'll be competing against each other!"

"I said I'll think about–"

"We'll be the coolest people ever" He keeps going

"Jace I don't know why but I think this conversation is very one-sided–"

"I don't even know what I'll play."

"Jace!" I say with a laugh. We're at my locker but he doesn't stop talking

"But what instrument will you play?"

"Jace–"

He keeps rambling on about the music competition. It's not annoying… It's really cute.

I pull him down by his tie and slam my lips against his. I don't miss his eyes widening in shock. We move our lips against each other's frantically. Jace brings his hand to my cheek, effectively slowing the kiss down. My hand lets go of his tie and one goes to his shoulder and the other stays on his chest. Jace takes a step back for both of us and I can feel the cold metal seep through my clothing. I'm slightly aware that everyone in the hall has gone quiet but I dismiss the thought. Jace and I eventually pull apart to breathe.

"You finally grew a pair good on you Jace!" Someone, I think it's Jordan, screams.

I hide my face in Jace's chest and he chuckles before flipping Jordan off.

Jace pulls me into him and we stand like that for a minute before he whispers.

"You've got a two free periods after lunch right?"

"Yea. I like to call it the perks of being a senior." I turn away from Jace and open my locker.

"Do you wanna eat outside today?" Jace asks.

"Sure" I smile

…

So that's how Jace and I ended up in the rain.

"You know any other girl would be screaming about the rain ruining their makeup."

Jace and I are sitting under a tree, his arm around my waist and my head resting on his shoulder

"I don't wear makeup"

"Because you're perfect" and he kisses my nose.

I blush and laugh

"That was so cheesy"

"I know…"

"We should probably go"

"Yea" Jace helps me up and we make our through the mud back to school.

We laugh like children and run, hand in hand. Until I slip.

I close my eyes and wait until I come into contact with the squelching mud underneath us. But Jace wraps his arms around me before I can.

"Up we go red." Jace whispers just before I hit the mud. He picks me up bridal style and keeps walking

"You really can't walk can you?"

"I can you just won't let me" I retort.

"Oh hush you love being pressed against my chest" He whispers as he puts me down on the pavement.

"You have try outs in 15 minutes"

"I know"

"Good luck" I kiss his cheek.

"I don't need good luck" he smiles

…

"Clare" Jace screams.

"Mm?" I'm making tea in our kitchen when Jace comes up to me, picks me up and spins me around.

"I got in" he whispers and I smile

…

When Friday morning comes along Jace is too excited for this.

"Jace it's too big" I moan from my room, looking at the shirt.

"Sexual innuendo" he screams from his room.

I walk out of my room unamused. Jace's shirt is dark blue and says LIGHTWOOD across the shoulders, at the back with the number 10 on the back. It goes down to my mid-thigh. I wear black skinny jeans and white converse. Apparently we're allowed to wear what we want today, but I wasn't given much of a choice as you can see.

"You look perfect" Jace says as we walk out the door. He's wearing and black t-shirt and blue jeans

"You're only saying that because I have your name on my back."

"Yea, you're right"

…

"Oh my god you two are the cutest couple ever" Izzy squeals.

Jace and I look at each other. I scrunch my face up in fake disgust while Jace fake pouts.

Izzy's wearing Seb's shirt as well. Everyone takes tradition seriously here, well everyone except for me.

"Come on we have to go back to class" Jace whispers in my ear and before we know it Izzy's squealing again.

…

"LIGHTWOOD. LIGHTWOOD. LIGHTWOOD." Everyone screams.

We've won 6-5 Jace scored the last goal. Iz and I are waiting for Seb and Jace near the changing rooms now.

"How did I do?" Jace whispers in my ear which my makes me jump.

"You scared me. But you did great" I smile

"I'm so tired, I just want to go to sleep"

"You know there is an after party right?"

"Can we not go?" Jace asks

"Sure" I kiss him on the cheek.

…

I get changed into my batman onesie, because I'm too mature, brush my teeth and walk into my room to find Jace sitting on the end of my bed in a sweatshirt and pyjama pants.

"Jace? What's wrong?" I ask walking towards him and wrapping my arms around his shoulders.

He looks up tired.

"I lost my teddy, can I sleep with you"

I laugh softly.

"Sure"

We get settled under the covers, with my head on his chest and his arm wrapped around me. My eyes start to droop but I hear Jace whisper

"I love you Clary"

I smile. I don't think I can say that back to him yet, not yet, but soon.

* * *

**Favourite. Follow. Review :) **


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi! Read the bottom :). And yes it's okay to hate me after this**.

* * *

I wake up in Jace's arms, with my head in his chest and his arms around my waist.

"Hi" I mumble sleepily.

"Hey" He kisses my forehead

We lay staring at my ceiling for a very long time until we hear a bang coming from outside of my room.

"Should I–"

"Shh it's probably Izzy. Stay here and be my pillow will you?" I say more than ask and cuddle up to Jace.

He chuckles and pulls me closer, resting his chin on my head.

"OMG this is so cute" Izzy screams when she barges into my room.

"Told you" I mutter in Jace's chest.

"I didn't see either of you at the party so I thought you might've been doing some multiplication. If you know what I mean." she raises her eyebrows suggestively.

I groan into Jace's chest.

"Izzy-" Jace starts

"You suck" I finish off for him

Izzy dismisses my comment and says

"Well I'll leave you two lovebirds to do whatever you do"

"Thanks" I mutter. Once she's left, I whisper

"Thank god she's gone"

He chuckles and before I know it he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder

"Jace" I moan.

"You had to get up sometime."

"No I didn't"

He starts walking and I manage to grab the edge of my duvet and drag it with me.

"You've got the duvet don't you?" Jace asks as we reach the couch

"Yup" I say happily.

He laughs and puts me down.

"What do you wanna do?" I ask pulling the duvet onto the couch.

"Nothing" He says before he looks at me seriously "So… the music competition"

"Jace-"

"Clary you promised" he starts to do his puppy dog face when I scream

"No! Not the face! Anything but the face" I cover my eyes with my hands.

"Clary" he gently pries my hand from my eyes and looks at me "Please"

I groan.

"Fine" I mumble

He grins and picks me up again.

"Jace?"

"Yea Clary?" he opens our dorm door and walks through, shutting it behind us.

"Do you mind telling me where we're going?"

"We're going to get you signed up." He keeps walking down the corridor and takes a left, heading to the reception.

"I could've done that later-" I start

"You and I both know you'll keep forgetting."

"But it's cold" I moan snuggling into Jace's chest. "How are you so hot?" I ask.

"I don't know" he starts cockily "I'm pretty sure I was born this way"

"That's not what I meant –"

"Uh huh sure" Jace smirks, we reach the signup sheet and I scrawl _Clary Fray_ onto it.

"You know I can walk right?"

"I think we proved that you couldn't walk." Jace turns right.

"Jace, our dorm's the other way"

"I know, we're going to the music room"

"Jace" I moan

"Clary" he retorts.

I scrunch my nose up and Jace looks down and kisses it.

"What are you going to play?" he asks when we reach the music room.

"My violin" I smile as he puts me down

"What are you playing?"

"Not sure" I walk off to unpack my violin.

Jace starts playing a g major scale on the piano that sits in the middle of the room.

"What are you going to play?" I ask him.

"Piano sonata in B minor S.178" he answers proudly.

I smile and walk over to the piano

"You're cute" I whisper and kiss him on the cheek.

I think I see Jace blush and oh my god.

"Are you blushing?" I ask, astonished.

"No –" he starts

It is the cutest thing ever. His cheeks have a light but noticeable tint of pink and he can't stop smiling. It's just argh. Even his blush is perfect.

"Jace? Will you accompany me at the competition?"

"I'd be honoured."

…

We're back in our dorm and Jace and I are just sitting on his bed, our backs are leaning against the headboard and legs stretched

He kisses my forehead.

"Clary?" He asks

"Mm?" I hum

"When finals are over, can you come home with us?"

I smile.

"I'm not sure if I'm allowed but I'll try my very best." I say.

He smiles and pulls me closer so my back is against his front.

"I love you" he mumbles so I'm not meant to hear it.

"I love you too" I smile.

"Clary you don't have to-" he starts

I turn around so my knees are either side of his hips and cup his face with my small hands.

"Jace, I love you so deal with it" I say firmly.

He chuckles and pulls me closer and buries his head in the crook of my neck.

"Clary? Why don't you draw anymore?" His lips brush against my neck when he speaks sending tingles throughout my body which makes me shiver.

And he smirks. I can _feel_ him smirk.

"I don't know, it just reminds me of my mum sometimes"

He nods and eventually we fall asleep.

…

It's Monday I'm getting my books out of my locker, ready to go back to my dorm when it happens.

"Hey Clary" I hear from behind me

"Jace" I smile before throwing my arms around his neck "I haven't seen you all day" I whisper.

"Yea" he pulls me off of him and I can feel his hands trembling.

"Jace what's wrong?" I ask cautiously.

"Uh well. Jordan, he uh said something" Jace's rambling on about something and it makes no sense.

"Jace stop. Go slower, I don't know what you're saying." I gently put my hand on his arm, to try and calm him down but he flinches away and I can't help the flash of hurt wash over my face. He sees it. I know he does. His eyes soften and he runs a nervous hand through his already messed up hair.

"Jordan said I was whipped" he stops and takes a gulp. "And Raphael said that if we didn't break up he'd kick me off the team" I freeze, It hurts. Not because we're breaking up. But because his friends mean more to him than I do.

I turn back to my locker.

"I think you should go Jace." I whisper, my voice wavering.

I look to the side, where my locker-door is, it has a picture of Jace and I hugging which Izzy took. I blink and a traitorous tear trails down my cheek.

"Clary-" Jace starts.

"Jace just leave" I cut him off.

"Clary stop-" he tries again.

"Jace you've done enough. Please" My voice breaks. "Just go"

I listen to his footsteps retreat from where they came from. I wait until I'm sure he's gone before I slam my locker closed and let out an aggravated scream before breaking down.

I guess I'm staying at Izzy's tonight.

* * *

**I just wanted to thank all of you for reading my story/stories. It's unbelievable that you actually like this stuff. :) You guys mean so much to me. Follow. Favourite. Review. **


	10. Chapter 10

**I wasn't going to update today but eh. Read the bottom.**

* * *

"Clary?" Izzy asks when I reach her door.

"Can I crash here tonight?" Izzy cocks her head to the side.

"Sure" She ushers me into her room "Did you and Jace have a fight?"

"No-Well Yes kinda" I flop onto her bed very ungracefully

"What happened?" she asks gently.

"We broke up" I mutter.

Silence. That's all I hear. Well before Izzy starts screaming.

"WHAT THE FUCK? HE LIKED YOU SO MUCH"

"He said he loved me Iz"

"Oh Clary, come here" She opens her arms and gives me and bone crushing hug. "Do you want me to go get Seb?"

I nod, knowing that if I speak I'll burst into tears.

"Wait a sec okay?" I smile at Izzy.

I stare at the wall. I can't believe I was that stupid, I'm not special to him, I'm just like the other ones.

"Clary?"

"Seb" I run into his arms

"Shh you'll be okay. You'll be okay."

"It just hurts Sebby"

"I know it does I know. How 'bout you get some sleep Izzy will get some clothes for you, okay?"

"Okay"

…

**JACE POV **

I love her, I love her, I love her. How could I do this to her? I sit on our couch with my head in my hands, when I hear the door open. My head snaps up hoping for it to be Clary, but no it's Izzy.

"How could you?" she whispers. "You said you wanted her so badly but you've just thrown all of it away Jace."

"I didn't want to, Izzy. Can you tell her that?"

She nods and sits down next to me.

"Is she coming back?" I ask hopefully

"No Jace, you really hurt her"

I clench my eyes shut.

"I don't know what this is about but Jace, I know you didn't want to do this so when you get your priorities straight, tell her"

I hug Izzy, it's something I haven't done in years.

"You're the best sister ever"

"I know I am"

…

**Clary POV**

I sit in Isabelle's room curled up in a ball. I haven't been to school since Monday and it's 5 in the morning on Friday now. The football team has a game as well today, so Izzy's wearing Seb's shirt again.

"Clary?"

"Hm?" I ask Izzy.

"You're going to school today"

"No I'm not" I mumble.

"Yes you are. You have to show Jace that you're okay"

"But I'm not" I whisper.

"Clary. I hate seeing you like this. I know it's hard. You have to be strong. For me?"

"Fine"

Izzy gets me into black jeans, red converse, and a white top with a black cross on it.

"You look good Clare" Seb says when he walks into Izzy's room.

"I don't think I can do this" I whisper.

"Of course you can, Iz and I will be there the whole time. Okay?"

"Okay" I say, trying to sound brave when really I think I'm dying inside.

…

I walk down hallways keeping my head down. I've been crying too much so my eyes have become way too irritant to put contacts, so I'm wearing my black thick rimmed glasses which unfortunately do make me look weird.

I open my locker and start getting my books out when I see that oh so special photo of Jace and I. With trembling hands I rip the photo out of my locker and scrunch it up after a moment of hesitation. I turn around and see Jace staring at the paper in my hands. Hurt washes over his face, he tries to hide it, but he can't, I can see right through him. I close my locker gently and keep walking leaving a hurt Jace behind. I decide to ditch and head to the music room.

I grab a guitar off the shelf and start strumming, I start to play Gives You Hell by All-American rejects.

I finish the song and finally wipe the tears running down my cheeks. I feel happier. I don't know. It just really helped. I freeze when I hear

"Clary?" It's an all too familiar deep smooth voice, which is cracking right now, from the door.

_Jace._

I put the guitar back on its rack and get my bag, keeping my head down.

"Clary please look at me" he pleads. I keep my head down and walk towards the door.

"Clary. I'm sorry. Please look at me." He pleads once again.

I do look up. He had dark circles under his eyes probably from not sleeping, but why? His hair tousled so pieces are sticking up in different directions.

"Are you coming to the game tonight?"

"I have to go" I whisper side-stepping Jace and walking fast out of the music room.

…

**JACE POV**

"Lightwood get your head in the game" coach screams.

"Sorry" I mumble back.

The whistle blows signally half time.

All of us run towards coach.

"Drink" he gestures to the drink bottles.

I pick mine up and look towards the bleachers.

She isn't here. She isn't here. _Did you think she'd come? You broke her heart dipshit. _

I clench my eyes shut and turn back around. I see Raphael smiling evilly at me. My hands clench into fists. I'm going to kill him. He won't touch Clary. I promise myself.

"Dude you can't keep zoning out. We need you to get a goal." Jordan whispers.

"Sorry" I mutter.

We're losing 2-0 now.

"I'll try"

…

I get to my dorm, our dorm. We lost all because of me. 5-0.

You need Clary. One part of me whispers. You can't have her the other part whispers.

I open her door and see her sleeping clutching a pillow in her hands, she's so beautiful.

She groans and I shut the door quietly.

What have I done?

…

**CLARY POV **

It's Monday and I'm walking down the halls again. I guess I'm getting better, but there's one thing that confuses me. Iz said he didn't want to break up with me, why did he then? I shake my head as if to rid the thought from my mind. I open my locker and start getting my books out, but I stop when I get turned around and slammed into the lockers next to me. I drop all my books.

"What did you do to him?" Jordan screams.

My mouth is slightly open out of shock I look into his hazel eyes all I see is anger. Anger Anger Anger.

"What did you do?" he growls again.

This time my lip trembles.

"Jordan stop" Maia whispers.

"Why should I?"

Maia pulls him away from me and mouths sorry.

My hands are shaking as I pick up my books.

I two hands helping me and I look up. Raphael.

"Here" he gives me my books. "Can I show you something?"

"Uh- sure?"

"Come" he starts walking and I follow him.

He leads me to one of the sides of the school. It's isolated and the school wall is made out of red brick.

"Clary?" Raphael cages me between the wall and him, one hand on either side of my face

When I don't answer he starts kissing my neck, sloppily.

"Raphael stop."

"What was that Clary?"

"Stop" I say a bit a louder

An evil grin is positioned on his face and he goes back to my neck. I start to hit his chest in attempt to get him off me. His hands are moving down my body. A bit too low for my liking.

"Jace doesn't deserve you Clary"

"And what? You do?"

"Yes" he hisses.

I kick him where the sun don't shine and run as fast as I can until I collide with a body.

"Clary?"

"Seb"

"What's wrong" he asks holding me to him.

"Raphael. He-he" my voice wavers.

A look of realization washes over his face.

"Come on let's go to Iz, she's in the cafeteria."

I nod and Seb grabs my hand and we walk to the cafeteria.

"What happened?" Izzy asks noticing my distress.

Seb explains while I take a look around the cafeteria, I see Jace with his mouth open, he shakes his head disbelievingly, he knows. His head snaps to the left when Raphael walks in. He gets up quickly and pins Raphael to the wall. One punch. Two punches. Three.

"Seb"

"Oh yes" he whispers and jogs over to them.

He says something to Jace which looks like,

"Mind if I have a go?"

Seb punches Raphael 5 times. Hard.

I walk up to them and Jace punches Raphael again. I put my hand on Jace's shoulder and his muscles tense up.

"Jace" he relaxes and turns around.

"Clary?" he looks at me hopefully.

"We need to talk"

* * *

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	11. Chapter 11

**Your reviews were so sweet :) They made feel warm inside. :) read the bottom :)**

* * *

Jace and I stand outside the cafeteria. My back is leaning against the wall and Jace stands in front of me.

"Jace what was that?" I cross my arms.

"He was going to hurt you, I had to do it, I had to."

"Jace start from the beginning."

He takes a step forward.

"Raphael said that he was going to rape you Clary and he nearly did, and I wasn't even there to help you" His voice cracks, against my will, my arms are thrown around his neck and they pull him closer, he wraps his arms around my waist and buries his head in the crook of my neck.

"He said he wouldn't do it if I broke up with you"

I take a shaky breath out, and start to stroke his curls. I sniffle.

"What are we going to do Jace?"

"I don't know" he whispers.

"Can he get expelled for this?"

"Surely he can't get away with trying to rape someone."

I nod

"What does this mean for us?" He whispers bringing his head up and looking at me.

"I have to think Jace, this is too much to take in at once."

He nods glumly.

"Hey don't be like that" My small hand cups his face "I'll talk to you tonight okay?"

"I'll see you later then" he whispers and I nod.

…

"Wait so he still loves you?" Iz and I are sitting on her couch eat ice cream and watching TV.

"I think so"

"And that shit with Raphael." She pauses and looks at me. "Woah"

"Is he getting expelled?" I ask

"Yea Seb and Jace went to the principal's office last period"

"Good"

"Now back to Jace"

"I said I had to think."

"Well I think you should take him back." I look at her curiously "He loves you Clary, I've never seen him look at anyone like he looks at you." I blush.

"See" she says.

"Iz what's the time?"

"7"

"I should go talk to him shouldn't I?"

"Yea go I'll finish the ice cream." I look at her. "I mean only if I have to."

I laugh and walk out the door.

…

"Jace?" I shout

I walk around our dorm trying to find him.

He's not in his room. Or the kitchen. Or on the couch.

"The music room" I whisper.

I walk down the hallway to the music room, but I stop when I hear 18th floor Balcony being sung and played. I walk in quietly.

_Jace_. He quickly stops noticing my presence.

"Hey" he says turning to me.

"Hi" I smile.

He pats on the seat gesturing for me to sit there, and I do just that.

"Can you teach me?" I ask looking at him.

He smiles down at me.

"Sure"

Without warning he lifts me up and places me between his legs.

"So what do you want to play?" His breath tickles the hair at the back of my neck making me squirm in delight

"I don't know."

"How about Mary had a little lamb"

Jace tells me and helps me play every single note after we've finished, he laughs.

"You do suck" he says playfully.

"Hey!" I exclaim and jab him in the stomach.

His arms wrap around my middle and he rests his chin on my shoulder.

"Did you think about it?"

"Yea" I stand up and turn around so that the piano is behind me and Jace sits in front of me.

"And what have you decided?" He asks, eyes looking hopeful

"That" how do I put this? "I think you're my favourite person in the world and I can't stand being without-"

I can't finish my sentence because Jace has pulled me down and slammed his lips against mine, gently but firmly. My hands move up his chest, when they reach his shoulder they move up his neck then my fingers tangle themselves in his hair. Our lips move together fast, because of all the tension over the last couple weeks. I start to suck on his lower lip which creates a groan from him before he does the same with my top lip. His tongue traces my lip begging for entrance which I give straight away. Our tongues fight for dominance but no one wins because we have to pull apart for air.

I lay my forehead on top of his.

"Do you still love me?" I ask.

He chuckles and pulls me closer, if that's even possible.

"Silly girl." He kisses my cheek. "I will always love you."

…

I wake up screaming, covered in sweat with sheets tangled around me. Jace bursts into my room.

"Clary, Clary, Clary it's me" I calm down a bit.

He holds me to him so my legs are wrapped around his waist and he's sitting cross-legged.

"Shh" he shushes my whimpering. "Breathe Clary"

I bury my head into his neck.

"Clary was it him again?"

I nod.

"Don't worry. I won't let anyone touch you ever again okay?"

I sniffle and he kisses my forehead.

"I love you Jace"

"I love you too Clary."

* * *

**I know this is really short but I had to give you something today. Your reviews kept me going :) I thank everyone for reading this mwah. Favourite. Follow. Review. :) **


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey guys read the bottom. It's really important. Really important.**

* * *

"Clary!" Jace shouts.

"Yea?" I say peeking my head out of the door.

"You've got a package" Jace walks up to me and hands me a medium sized wrapped box.

I see _Jocelyn Fairchild _written at the top.

I gasp slightly and take the box from Jace's hands and put it on my bed.

"You okay?" he asks.

"It's from mum"

"I know" he whispers and wraps his arms around my waist pulling my back against his chest.

"I'm fine. I just- I just need sometime alone."

"Of course." He kisses my cheek "I'll be in my room."

I nod and he leaves.

After climbing onto my bed I open the box and inside is a smaller box. With JC carved onto it. My hands are shaking as I open it. Inside is a ring, I've seen it before, it's our family ring. I smile and sniffle. She also has a tuft of my hair in there. She has a picture of us when I was a baby and a letter. I open it up carefully. But I'm too close to crying, I can't read a thing.

"Jace!" I shout towards his room.

I hear his footsteps plodding towards my room, he opens the door.

"Yea?"

"Can you?" I point to the letter.

"Are you sure?" He asks cocking his head to the side and scrunching his eyebrows up adorably

"Who else would I ask?"

He smiles and sits next to me and I lay my head on his shoulder

He starts to read

"_Dear Clary,_

_When the cancer gets to my heart and takes over I want you to know that I will always be with you. You will go to Julliard. You will get a degree and you will marry someone. Some that's not like your father. I know that I won't be there to approve of him, but I think Sebastian and Isabelle can do it on their own. I know I won't be there for your wedding, part of me is sad and the other part never really wanted to see Sebastian in a bridesmaid dress." _I laugh.

"_Also Jace seems like a very nice boy. He likes you Clary. I can tell. Make sure he treats you right. I love you Clary, don't you ever forget that okay. I love you so so much."_

"She didn't say that!" I exclaim looking at the note.

Jace chuckles and pulls me closer. "She did Clary, I'm just that amazing. " He says.

"As if"

…

"Clary!" Seb knocks on the door.

"Geez what's up with him?" Jace asks. Jace and I were sitting on the couch studying for our last exam, music.

"I don't know" I get up to open the door.

"Clare you'll never guess what just happened" Seb almost screams

"Should I know what just happened?"

"Yes, well, no" Seb says confusing himself.

"Mum and dad want to adopt you." He screams. My eyes widen.

"Really?" I ask in shock.

"Yes!" Seb wraps his arms around me and picks me up.

"You're really my sister now" he says smiling.

…

"Jace" I whisper. We're back stage right now, waiting for my turn to go on stage. The music competition. I've been dreading this for weeks.

"Yea?" Jace looks at me with his accompaniment music in his hand.

"I can't do this" I say looking down at my cello. I had decided to play Cello sonata number 4 in b flat major by Vivaldi.

He cups my face gently and leans down to rest his forehead on mine and my eyes flutter shut when I feel his warm breath washes over my face.

"I'm not going to force you but you're the best cellist ever" his kisses both my eye lids gently

"You sound so beautiful when you play" his kisses my nose.

"Hell you even look even _more_ beautiful you play" My eyes snap open as he says this.

"If that's possible" I blush and he holds me to him

"You're always beautiful" he murmurs

"You'll do great" He rests his cheek on my head.

"I know you will" He pulls away and kisses my head.

…

I'm onstage. Breathe. Everything slows down. Everything except me. I take a good look at the auditorium. It's huge, packed with people. Looks like it's got great acoustics. Don't mess this up Clary.

I tighten my bow. Close my eyes. Take one more deep breathe before I start. My bow lands on my string playing the note perfectly in tune. I close my eyes and play with everything I have.

…

Everyone's clapping. Was it good or are they feeling sorry for me? I look back at Jace who is smiling proudly at me.

Once we get off stage I put my cello back in its case and Jace hugs me from behind.

"You did great Clare" he whispers in my ear.

"Thanks" I smile.

"Uh I have to tell you something" Jace whispers

"Oh no" I murmur turning around.

"I got a full scholarship to a university because of my football, Clare" he says looking at his feet.

"What are you so worried about?" I ask lifting his chin up with my small hand, not understanding he's going to drop the hugest fucking bomb ever.

"It's in New York"

* * *

**Um so I'm switching laptops, so i'm giving my current one to charity and I think I only get my new one next year so i'm really not sure when I'll get to update. And i'm leaving to London in 2 weeks for 3 and 1/2 weeks. And I just want to relax with my big brother before he leaves for uni in February (If that's not too much to ask) so I'll try updating ASAP but then I might be a bit all over the place. Sorry? **

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	13. Chapter 13

**Hi there!**

* * *

I step out of Jace's arms.

"What?"

"NYU, Clare" he explains.

"But I'm going to the Royal Academy of Music" I say slowly and pause.

"To be closer to Seb" I explain.

"What about Julliard?" Jace asks. I step out of his grasp.

"I'm probably not even going to get half a scholarship, Jace"

"You could" He whispers.

I shake my head and look down.

…

I sniffle. It shouldn't be this hard. Why is it so hard? I'm crying in my bed. The music competition, turns out neither Jace nor I won, Seb did. My phone buzzes.

_Seb: You okay._

_Clary: No _

_Seb: What's wrong? _

_Clary: Jace's moving to New York _

_Seb: Aren't you going to Julliard? You said your audition was really good _

_Clary: I was going to stay here to be closer to you_

_Seb: As sweet as that is, I find that stupid._

_Clary: Hey!_

_Seb: You're right that was mean. But you're going to New York, I will not let you stay with me. _

_Clary: What if I don't get in_

_Seb: If that happens I'll let you stay but_

_Clary: but? _

_Seb: I'll let you make up your mind, you're a big girl now._

_Clary: I don't know what to do. _

_Seb: Right now get some sleep, come over in the morning k? _

_Clary: Okay _

_Seb: night night_

_Clary: Night Sebby. _

"Clary" I hear a knock on my door but I don't answer.

"I know you're awake" Jace says, I think I hear his forehead resting on my

"I love you Clary" he whispers and it breaks my heart.

"I love you so much it hurts" He whispers.

"Please don't leave me" his voice breaks and my heart breaks again.

He sniffles and slides down the door.

…

I wake up to my alarm going off, then I hear a groan outside the door. Shit I'm going to wake Jace up. I get up quickly and quietly, which isn't very hard due to my size, I open the door gently. Jace sits there, sleeping. He looks so peaceful, a golden lock of hair falls over his eyes, without thinking I brush it back. Jace smiles in his sleep and makes a sound of approval. I press a gentle kiss to his forehead. He makes another sound of approval. I step over him carefully and leave.

…

I knock on Seb's door three times.

"Who is it?" he shouts.

"Sebby it's me" I shout back.

Immediately, he opens the door.

"Hey Clary"

I smile a bit

"Hey"

Seb lead me inside.

"So Julliard?"

"I'm not even going to get in Seb"

"If you don't get a full scholarship, mum and dad would be happy to pay for you"

"NO!"

"Why not?" Seb asks.

"Because your parents have already done so much for me, it isn't fair"

Seb sighs and runs a hand through his hair.

"Clary" he pauses. "They would do anything for you. You're like their second child" Seb explains.

I stay quiet.

"Don't you want to be with Jace?" Seb asks quietly.

"Of course I do!" I exclaim stepping backwards.

"I don't think he knows that" Seb says quietly. I hug Seb.

"Thank you Sebby" I whisper.

"For what?"

"For helping me make up my mind"

…

I knock on Jace's dorm door. I've been in my room for the past couple hours staring at a wall, trying to work up the courage to do this

"Clary?" He opens the door and I throw my arms around his neck pulling him down, closer to me.

"Can we just forget about New York for now?" I mumble into his neck.

He pulls back just enough to look at me.

"But we have to talk about that Clare" He whispers.

"I know" I swallow harshly.

"Just not now" I finish, burying my face into the crook of his neck again.

Before I know it Jace hoists me up, so that my legs are wrapped around his waist as he pulls into his room. He closes the door and presses my back against the door.

"I love you" he whispers before placing soft kisses down my neck.

"Is this okay?" he asks breathlessly.

My answer's a moan and Jace chuckles before returning to what he was doing previously.

"Jace! You're going to give me a hickey!" I manage.

"You call it a hickey. I call it marking my territory" Jace says before nuzzling my neck.

"Can I stay with you tonight?"

"Of course" Jace mumbles into my neck.

Jace somehow manages to turn the light switch off, with my legs still wrapped around his waist.

He places me gently on the bed before climbing in next to me. I feel the mattress sink slightly when he gets into bed. Jace pulls my back against his front and entwines our hand together, then he rests his chin on my shoulder so our cheeks are touching before kissing me on the cheek and whispering,

"Don't ever leave me again"

"I won't" I whisper back sleepily. I vow to myself, in my head, that I will never leave Jace over something like this again. He's too special to me and I love him too much to be this stupid ever again.

* * *

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